


Pass in the Night

by eleanorb



Category: Doctor Who (2005), The Culture - Iain M. Banks, Torchwood
Genre: Culture Ship, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-16
Updated: 2012-02-16
Packaged: 2017-10-31 07:07:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/341299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eleanorb/pseuds/eleanorb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An attempt to fill a few missing years in Jack's history</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pass in the Night

"Some cultures have AI ships, intelligent, adventurous. Some of them are pretty sexy. Owen, did I ever tell you..."

"Sometimes, Harkness, I think your mouth is directly connected to your dick. No, that's disgusting, forget I said that. Bugger off and do some filing with Ianto, will you. I've got work to do."

**************************************

The Callipygian System is gorgeous. Four jewel like planets orbiting a neon yellow star; Sapphire, the blue ocean world, Krimzon, red crust peppered with active volcanoes, Asha, silver grey in its hi-tech skin and Milieu the blue-green home planet with its attendant satellite, Little Mi.

Jack spins through the wormhole, into the system, the small ship agile and responsive under his experienced hands. He buzzes the surface of Asha hooking into long abandoned databases and scooping up the useful and the esoteric alike. Who knows when you might need something interesting? 

A boost of acceleration puts him on route to Milieu, where he switches back to normal running and stretches in his seat. It's been a long run from Nerita and one he'd really prefer to forget. He's half asleep when he's suddenly assaulted by horrendously loud, and really bad, singing on all channels.

**∞  
Vecinos, todo el mundo necesita buenos vecinos!   
∞**

A flip and roll and he changes course, using the planet to shield him while he scans the sleek black dart of a ship orbiting the small moon. The manoeuvre is too late and far too slow. A hailing channel opens and he swears he hears a chuckle before the speaker crackles.

∞  
[tight beam, M69, tra. @n4.28.862.6669]  
xLSV Drunken Watchmaker  
oUnknown craft

**I can see you.**

[There's the suggestion of a cough] 

**Sorry. This is the LSV Drunken Watchmaker. Unknown craft please identify yourself. Repeat, this is the LSV Drunken Watchmaker.**  
∞

"A Culture ship? You’re a long way from home, Drunken Watchmaker."

There's a long pause during which Jack makes sure his less than legal cargo is safely stored and shielded. Happy he's done all he can, he relaxes back into the contoured seat and waits. Eventually, he gets a reply.

**~I'm…err…on an exploration and contact mission. Meet and greet the locals, welcome them into the family. That sort of thing, you know.**

The hesitation in the ship's response convinces Jack it's lying but, hey, it's not polite to bring it up, especially when you've just met. The Culture has always had its own agenda, one he doesn't choose to mess with well, not in his current circumstances anyway.

"You won't get much schmoozing here, Watchmaker. The Callipygians left their system about ten years ago. Packed up and shipped themselves to the next star on the say so of a persuasive prophet."

**~All of them? There were nearly two billion life forms in this system and almost as many AI Minds.**

"He was a very charismatic prophet, apocalyptic predictions, the whole shebang. Of course I wouldn't have followed him to the nearest asteroid belt, even with that ass."

**~He had a small, grey, horse-like quadruped with him?**

"Are you sure your translation software is up to date, Watchmaker?"

Again there’s the suggestion of a throaty laugh. 

"You know, I think you're teasing me, Watchmaker. By the way I didn't get round to introducing myself. I’m Captain Jack Harkness, late of, well, late of a lot of places, at your service."

**~Captain? Military? Special Circumstances? Pirate?**

There's a hint that the ship already knows the answer but Jack replies anyway.

"Nothing so ambitious. I'll admit I've made a few illegal entries in my time and there may have been a little plundering once in a while. But I'm a good guy," he pauses. "Very good so I'm told." This last is transmitted in his best seduction voice. The one that gets him into the sort of trouble that necessitates emergency visits to dead planets.

**~Now who’s a tease? And who should I contact to get those references, Captain Harkness?**

"Call me Jack. I'm pretty well known in this quadrant. But, I'd leave out the authorities on Nerita if I were you. Lately, they've got the strange idea I can't be trusted." 

**~Really, I'm intrigued. Can't be trusted with what?**

"Ah, that's a long story. Mainly the just come-of-age Crown Prince, but some other pieces of the Royal regalia as well."

**~Now I know you’re teasing. Nerita doesn't have any Royal Regalia.**

"Not any more, it doesn't. So, how about you? You’re not here to contact the locals are you?"

**~Busted. Would you believe me if I said I was waiting for you?**

"Flattering as that might be, I didn't make the decision to come here until the last minute." 

**~But let’s just say your arrival could be predicted. If you have the right software, enough time and a little incentive. I've been following your career for some time. You're a very interesting man, Jack. You have a certain...reputation amongst those with a craving for the more avant-garde experience.**

"Have you been stalking me, Watchmaker?"

The reply is all flirtation.

**~Not as such. More, taking an enlightened interest in your more visceral exploits. I have an anthropological curiosity about your species and its rites and rituals. OK there was an element of...**

The ship fades out and Jack can almost hear the blush.

"Visceral. Anthropological. Rites and rituals," he teases. "You just want to get in my pants."

There's a long pause then the reply comes back, slightly rushed as if the speaker has to get it all out before it loses its nerve.

**~Well, I wouldn't put it quite like that. There are certain practical difficulties after all. But, I think we could come to a mutually satisfactory arrangement, if you're interested.**

If the ship could breathe it would be taking one quick, nervous breath after another. 

Jack laughs, warm and encouraging.

"I've never...well not with a ship mind," he pauses, spinning out the moment, making the AI mind wait for his decision. Then, curiosity overtakes him and he asks. "Permission to come aboard?"

**~Granted.**


End file.
